Parenting: The Comic Truth

Funny Things Kids Say!

My sensitive and dramatic, six year old nephew crossed his arms and put his head down, showing how upset he was while we were grocery shopping without his parents. He was always crying over one thing or another, so I asked him, “Why are you crying?” He raised his head and replied, “I’m not crying. I’m sad without tears!” That was six years ago and I still remember how serious he was when he said it, and how amused I was.

A different time, I took my eight year old niece shopping. While we were in the changing room I tried on a pair of distressed jeans and asked my niece what she thought about them. She said they looked good, then looked closer and exclaimed loudly, “Wait a minute! These pants have holes in them! Holes! They’re selling them even though they know there’s already holes in them? That’s so wrong!” I could hear the women in the other stalls laughing.

Kids are amazing, distinct, quirky, and uninhibited in how they think and what they say. As adults we learn to keep certain things to ourselves, which makes the funny or brutally honest things that kids say all the more hilarious and sometimes excruciatingly embarrassing. I never get tired of hearing or reading about funny sayings from kids to their parents, to other kids, or even to complete strangers.

Here are 10 of my favorite funny things kids have said to parents, teachers, and innocent bystanders (in no particular order):

1. Both are right on this one:

2. To bathe or not to bathe:


3. Ladies, he’s already taken:


4. That’s the point:

5. Embarrassing dinner partner:

6. Technically, it makes sense:


7. Accidents happen:

8. Some things are better left unsaid:

9. Pretty sure that’s how it works:


10. The wrong word: