The push and pull of emotions toddlers develop before they are able to effectively communicate with you often leads to a parent’s age-old adversary, the tantrum. When your child is under two years old, parents will find that the best case scenario is for tantrums to happen at home where you can try to ignore the tantrum in an attempt to teach your little one that tantrums won’t get your attention, or succumb to giving your child what he or she wants without the disapproving looks of others.
As your child grows older, tantrums become a power struggle rather than a lack of being able to communicate. The excuse of not being able to do anything about a tantrum no longer fits when your child is three, talking and increasingly independent. First time parents start researching different ways to deal with tantrums from various sources like parenting magazines, educational articles, or friends and family members with children.
At Kudo Banz we have experienced tantrums with our own kids, and know the difficulties of keeping calm during a child’s tantrum. We know that each child is different and responds differently to parenting strategies. Some kids immediately pick up on how they should behave and communicate with you to get what they want or need, while others get stuck in less desirable habits such as tantrums or refusing to communicate. It’s up to us as parents to help our children develop better behaviors into habits.
Positive parenting is the foundation in which Kudo Banz was created. We have collected and combined positive parenting strategies into three easy-to-remember ways for dealing with tantrums to share with real parents in our Ultimate Tantrum Guide:
1. Keep calm and parent on.
Sometimes the first step is the hardest, and that includes the first step to dealing with tantrums, staying calm while your child is out of control. Learning how to model a calm behavior during a stressful situation not only shows your child that a tantrum does not affect you, and is therefore an ineffective way for them to get what they want, but also gives them a behavior to imitate. As any parent knows well, kids will imitate your own behaviors and repeat whatever you say. So parents that display good behaviors help kids to learn those same behaviors too.
If out of the house, remove the child to a more private place to wait out the tantrum. Don’t try to reason while your child is throwing a tantrum. Kids aren’t listening when their emotions are out of control. Talk to them after, not during. And of course, don’t give them rewards for finishing a tantrum. Just return to what you were doing previously so your child knows that tantrums won’t change your plans.
2. I get a plan. You get a plan.
Like anyone, not knowing what to expect is stressful for children, which can lead to tantrums. One effective way to reduce tantrums from starting is to let your child know what you’ll both be doing for the day. Making plans and letting your child be aware and a part of these plans, helps them feel more in control of what’s going on around them and more confident about going through the motions of the day.
Keep little ones interested by allowing them to pick one or two things to do that day or to bring along with them when going out. When young kids feel like they have some control, they are more receptive to learning behaviors expected of “big kids” like not throwing tantrums and communicating with words instead.
3. Good things happen to those who are good.
“Great job! You were really brave!” when a child makes it through a doctor’s appointment without a tantrum, or “Wow! You shared your snack on your own. That’s very nice!” when a child independently displays a good behavior, are just a few ways to show your child that you recognize their achievements, helping them to keep these positive behaviors in their minds and connected to your praise. Kids are always testing parents for responses. When good behaviors get the greatest responses and attention from parents, little ones will remember these behaviors and use them more frequently.
However, we know it’s hard not to make a bigger deal about bad behaviors, even when we are aware of the negative results that happen when we do. When that occurs, parents just need to take their own time-outs, and later discuss our meltdowns with our kids. Revealing our own weaknesses to our little ones lets them know that even negative emotions are okay to have. It’s how to deal with these negative emotions that is important for them to learn. Everyone makes mistakes and has bad days now and then, including parents!
Growing happy families with Kudo Banz.
At Kudo Banz we want to help parents become the best they can be, with a product that parents use together with their kids to set goals, learn good behaviors, listen better, and reduce tantrums, all in a positive manner. Our Kudo Banz Starter Kit has everything that parents need for one to two little ones. With a hardcover storybook that teaches kids listening is fun, tangible Kudo charms and wristbands for kids to wear and remind them of their goals, and a free app download that enables family fun rewards for kids to enjoy with their parents, the Kudo Banz Starter Kit is the perfect parenting tool to start your own family on a positive parenting journey. Get yours today and grow a happy family with Kudo Banz!